“Bless your soul! You really think you’re in control? Well, I think you’re crazy!” ~ Gnarls Barkley

You know what today has been like? *SPLAT!* It’s like my dad used to say, “Some days you’re the windshield. Some days, you’re the bug.” Accepting that today you’re going to be the bug: that’s the hard part.

I wrote my last column about anxiety and depression and how being out of control leads to breaking down. This time, I’m going to tell you about coping.

Coping Mechanism #1 – Clear Your Head

I hit the ground running (literally) at 5:00 a.m. I could not sleep. There’s so much on my plate and I could not seem to quiet my mind, so I finally just got up to go for a run. These days, exercise is my greatest coping mechanism. Running clears my head and makes me focus on how much my body hurts and how hard it is to breathe instead of how much I have to do today. Believe it or not, that’s a good thing!

Back home an hour later, I packed my briefcase (OK – it’s just a giant purse that my laptop fits into) and my lunch before hopping in the shower. By 7:00, though, my phone and email were already going crazy. It’s just now after noon and I’ve already had three unscheduled conference calls and an impromptu in-office client meeting. I’ve reviewed a commercial lease, sent a response to a demand letter and started drafting a court pleading. And I haven’t even started on what I euphemistically call my To Do List.

Sound familiar?

We lawyers work hard. We really, really try to work smart, too. We schedule our time to the minute. We memorize the docket and never miss a court deadline. And we seriously mean it when we give clients an estimate of when their work will be done.

Trouble is, we don’t actually have that much control. We are control freaks by nature, and maybe this is what drives us insane: that we do not actually control very much in our lives.

My assistant controls my schedule. The courts control my dockets. The clients control my phone and email. And yet I’m the one responsible for all of it? Yes. Yes, I am.

Coping Mechanism #2 – Control a Tiny Corner of Your World

When my cell phone blew up at 7:00 a.m., you know what I did? Well, first I answered the damn phone and dealt with my client and his situation. And then I folded a huge pile of laundry and put it all away. Coping mechanism number two: take control of a tiny corner of your world. Fold the clothes, wash some dishes, clean out your purse, something! If you can’t control the chaos around you, take control of that one little thing. Once you do, it will all seem just a little more manageable.

Coping Mechanism #3 – Do Tasks Sequentially

At the office, I was immediately hit with two calls and a meeting request. So I dealt with them in sequential order of who called first, second and third. Coping mechanism number three: deal with one thing at a time in sequential order. Don’t try to figure out what’s most important, just take things in the order that they come at you.

Coping Mechanism #4 – But Still Roll With the Punches

I took another call in the middle of that somewhere. Coping mechanism number four: roll with the punches. Instead of letting things pile up, tackle things as they are happening as much as possible. That means answering the phone or email right then whenever possible, but don’t let it derail you. Deal with the immediacy of the situation without dropping what you were doing.

Coping Mechanism #5 – Give Yourself Ways to Measure Progress

Then, I tackled two small drafting tasks that I knew I could knock out quickly. Coping mechanism number five: do something, anything, to show progress. Tackle a small task so you can see something crossed off the To Do List. For us control freaks, nothing is more empowering than a checked-off To Do item.

Coping Mechanism #6 – Unplug

At lunch, I made the conscious decision to leave the office. Yes, I know it sounds like the worst possible time to leave with a full plate of work and the phone ringing off the hook. But I needed to take a real break, not just to surf the web while I answered email and ate a salad at my desk. I even left my cell phone and iPad at the office. I ate lunch outside and watched squirrels chase each other up a tree. Coping mechanism number six: unplug for a few minutes.

Coping Mechanism #7 – Take Advantage of Down Time

Back at my desk for round two, I took advantage of the relatively quiet phone and reviewed a commercial lease before I even checked my email. Coping mechanism number seven: take advantage of the calm spaces when they happen.

When I did check my email, I found all kinds of little things to be upset about. More work to be done on projects I thought were completed. More upset clients with new impending disasters. And a reminder from Susan that my SPU column was due yesterday. Oops. Well, that last one I could take care of pretty quickly. See coping mechanism number five.

I have absolutely no doubt – zero, nada, none – that I will fail to accomplish everything I set out to accomplish today. And that is OK by me. Coping mechanism number whatever: I’m still responsible for all of it, but it doesn’t have to overwhelm me.