I guess first, I would say thank you for the work you did put in – you’re right in that poor people are still going to be poor after they walk out your door – but they deserve help just like the Wall Street broker. Sure a lot of those people succumb to the perils of life, drugs, alcohol, etc. but someone has to extend a hand to those people and least provide them with a chance to dig themselves out of the hole. There are inherent problems within our government that deter people from wanting to improve their lot in life and settle because its easier. However, we can’t close those doors to those who do try to climb out of those conditions. We cannot write this segment of society off as a lost cause and I’m afraid that is where we are headed in this country. If everyone that ever said “One person can’t make a difference” actually believed the inverse of that statement, it’s staggering to think what we could accomplish.

Now as for your three points of advice:

1. Exercise – definitely, in the past year I have went from weighing 260lbs down to 195lbs – my mother has diabetes and I was on the fast track to that path at 24 – my doctor told me “you’re awful young to be having the problems you’re about to start having” it was either lose weight or wake up everyday knowing I had to prick my finger with a needle – that was enough to slap some sense into me. I feel better and exercise has been a great outlet to let out my frustrations when law school and life get to me.

2. I respect what you are saying, and understand why you are saying it, but I respectfully disagree. I believe the problem with this country in general is that we have lowered our expectations. That mentality on a person to person scale has transcended into an overall mentality that gets projected into our national personality. I appreciate the ones that work in legal aid, public defenders and take on pro bono work – those are the warriors on the ground carrying out much needed work. But there is more to it than the small scale work – we have to work through community organizations and government to try to improve the system. We have for far too long just accepted that we have a flawed system and it can’t get better. It can get better, we can improve, and we have to get back to that mindset collectively as a country and it starts on an individual level. I hope that on some scale I can make a difference and encourage others to do the same rather than just “lowering my expectations” – maybe in 10 or 20 years I’ll look back on these words and realize how foolish I was, but God I hope not – its a very sad state of affairs when we’re forced to expect the worst and that it can’t get better.

3. This is is the aspect of law that scares me the most admittedly. I interned at district court in the civil division this past spring and then for part of the semester this fall. I know there a no do-overs and that what I will do has a direct and often deep impact on people’s lives. The reality of dealing with a client committing suicide or other unthinkable acts is frightening – all I can do is my best and let the chips fall where they may.

You are right I am only one person and fully acknowledge that there is a higher being who is in control and my philosophy on life falls short in so many ways from the plans of our creator. But I do pray that I am used in such a way to bring light to a dimming world.

I am not naive – I know that for all of these lofty goals I have. I still have to take care of myself and my family emotionally and financially. Doing legal aid work and public defender work is not going to pay my bills or my loans and that really is unfortunate. As of this moment I have no clue exactly what I want do after graduation. I am going into my career search with an open mind and eyes wide open. Whatever it is I wind up doing, I do believe I can find a way to make a difference in some way.

I went to law school to improve my quality of life and to break free of the paycheck to paycheck lifestyle that I was raised under. I don’t want my children to endure the hardship and sacrifice that I had to endure in my own life. But there is no reason that I can’t do both – I honestly believe there is a way to genuinely help people out there in meaningful ways and still be able to provide for myself and family so that we are least comfortable in our own lives.

Thank you very much for your thoughts – it does make me think and wonder if my outlook needs to be adjusted or in what ways are they unrealistic. But I’m going to choose to keep believing – its the only thing I can do. It’s just the way I’m wired. I have always hoped for a better tomorrow, but we have to get off our butts to create that tomorrow – too many of us are sitting around staring at each other wondering who’s going to step up.

Godspeed and Best Wishes,

- jack

Just had to reply to Jack Whittington:

Dear Jack,

Even when I started law school in 1984, I was told that there were not enough jobs and no one could make a living,etc. It probably is meant to discourage, and you might … might just find yourself doing the same thing when you’ve been out a few years and keep seeing the law school pump out new graduates like assembly line products. Whether you do or don’t, that fear-mongering has been around for awhile, so don’t feel singled out.
What I really wanted to say to you is about your statements about “wanting to help people” and legal aid and all that good stuff. That is why I went to law school, Jack. I was not even young and idealistic:
I was almost thirty when I started law school, was married to a lawyer who had worked on an Indian Reservation for legal aid, and I had been a lobbyist for social change organizations. I thought I could help people. And, if you surveyed most of my clients over the last twenty-some years, you would find that the vast majority said “yes” if you asked if I helped them. I have never made alot of money, and when I was young, that did not seem to be too important, but now I am mid-fifties and have less than $ 30,000 in retirement. Truthfully, I would be living in a trailer down by the river if I was not married to someone who had a good job and good retirement. So, say that you are able to get by on the small income of lawyers dedicated to good works, as many of them have, there is still a problem.
The problem is that what you can actually “do” for people who need help is relatively small and does not usually solve the bigger problem. People who are poor when they walk in your door will still be poor when they walk out and (if you are in solo practice) they will be poorer. The vast majority of people who really NEED attorneys are poor, likely to be involved with drugs and alcohol, unemployed or underemployed, and/or (all the above) mentally ill or have personality defects.

It is a great feeling to help a woman out of a domestic violence situation or help a disabled person file bankruptcy on old medical debts, etc., but, as my oldest daughter (a non-practicing law school grad) likes to remind me, my office would be better as a ministry than as work. Add that, Jack, people who do this work get burned out even under the best of circumstances. They get depressed. They get tired of constantly hearing about other people’s problems. They get tired of fixing the same
problem over and over and over. My (probably cynical) words of advice for those in law school and those contemplating applying is that you have to, MUST DO three things: (1) establish an exercise routine: does not matter what it is: walk, run, bike, skip, play bb: JUST MAKE IT A HABIT NOW cuz you are going to need it; (2) LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS: it is a profession, like cleaning people’s teeth: start out now with the understanding that you are not God’s gift to mankind and that you deserve no better treatment than anyone else (this attitude will help prevent the overgrowth of bitterness); and (3) do not, do not,
do not expect that what you experience in law school (even in clinic situations) is anything like the actual practice of law, because there is one element that is always missing in law school and never missing when you are out practicing: SOLE RESPONSIBLITY. If you screw up in Law school you get a bad grade, or there is someone with a bar admission who is truly in charge and they can fix it. Out of law school, if you screw up, it is not the potential financial liablity alone to be reckoned with. You also have to live with the fact that you made a mistake, possibly one that really hurt your client. People expect
doctors to be emotionally upset if they lose a patient, but I had not been practicing more than three years when I lost my first client to suicide. There are more things, Jack, in heaven and on Earth, than are dreamt in your philosophy.

Good luck.

C.F.Collier, Esq.